Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in kuchuk_kainarji's LiveJournal:

Friday, June 3rd, 2005
6:25 am	Pants Several times in the last few days, my white, heterosexual, fifty-five-year-old, owns underwear from 1977 father has exhorted (yes, I said "exhorted") me to go buy clothes and put them on the credit card. If he insists. Also, my job allows me to perform the ne plus ultra reminder of my own mortality: I get to punch a time clock. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
5:12 pm	Highway 75 Why would you buy a Mustang if you're only going to drive it 50 mph? Also, Marie and I decided that next time one of us breaks up with someone we will be wearing T-shirts that say "Sayonara, Sucker!" (Comment on this)
12:08 am	Connexions OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED TODAY I AM CONNECTED THROUGH SEXUAL PARTNERS TO THE BARON OF THE ILE-DE-FRANCE (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
1:50 am	hahaha Okay, I promise an actual summery of what's going on later, but can I just say. None of the people reading this currently except Eudora probably has experienced / realized this, but I have to be "the interesting one" the way some people have to be the pretty one, the smart one, the whatever. It's responsible for a lot of my drug experimentation, part of my sex life, the gleeful and rehearsed way I tell traumatic childhood stories, even my speech. My life is a performance, and I fully expect an award at the end of it. But awhile ago I was reflecting, looking back on the last twenty years, and it hit me. All that stuff actually happened. Like for real. HA! I can not stop laughing. This is really my life! I am so blessed, really. And I thought, as I did often when I was younger and more Catholic, about the review of my life at the final judgement. Back then, I was afraid everyone would be appalled at how often I masturbated. Now, I can't wait for everyone to see how much fun I had! I also thought about my guardian angel, and imagined her saying, in a voice like Karen from "Will and Grace" (lol omg ur a fag): "Oh, Chris Honey, what are you doing there?" Having a goddamn BALL. (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 21st, 2005
8:08 pm	Resonance. I didn't realize it until just now, but the set-up for this summer is exactly the same as last summer. Apparently God uses a script formula. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
7:22 pm	Not a surprise. Your Deadly Sins Gluttony: 100% Lust: 80% Pride: 60% Sloth: 40% Envy: 20% Greed: 20% Wrath: 20% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 49% You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs. How Sinful Are You? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
11:43 pm	Bourbon. Like a lot of people, I have a bottle of bourbon in my closet. If living in Plano becomes unbearable, as it undoubtedly will, I can stun the ennui with a few shots of Wild Turkey. Like most people who drink, I get curious about what other people drink, which is why I looked in Angie's liquor cabinet, where I found but one (1) piddling little bottle of Maker's Mark with a note on it. I was going to copy the exact text, O hypothetical reader, but that's too much effort. Suffice it to say that it says that I am looking in a private place, that I am stealing from her, that I am breaking a trust, that I am doing something against her while living in her house, that what I am doing is illegal, and that I have made her sad. So naturally, all I could do is put a note on my bottle that says, "like I even need your damn Maker's Mark." God help us if she finds the Astroglide. (Comment on this)
7:00 pm	Hurricane Kay makes landfall in Central Texas So, naturally, she started as soon as I got back. We were going to the liquor store, when she finds the remnants of my exam pack of cigarettes in the car. Naturally, she flips out. Later, we're up drinking with Marie, when she reiterated that she might be bisexual (I don't know why I can't just have something) and talks about marijuana legalization. All this pales before the fact that she asked me the next day, as we sat in Bill's Grill #3, the following question: "I know you're not having indiscriminate sex, but have you had real sex?" First, how does she know I'm not having indiscriminate sex? And, second... Real sex? what does that even mean, "real" sex? I guess you could not count the boys, and not count Goldman because she happened outside of my home area code, and discount Rock-'em-Sock-'em because it was leap year, maybe. Or maybe it turns out that my sexual partners have all been hallucinatory. Or robots. Or hallucinated robots. (1 Comment |Comment on this)